9/11 Made Us One: How America’s First Responders Answered The Call Of Boundless Compassion
9/11 changed us! It made us one on 9/12! No matter what department they’re are from, first responders routinely witness horrific events that ordinary people don’t. 9/11 showed us the lengths that these heroes would go to just to save the lives of others. Fire Chief Bobby Halton honors the fallen among their ranks, as well as those who continue to lay their lives in service of others, in this insightful conversation with Fr. Jim Swarthout. Join in as these two men of faith reflect on the biggest lessons we learned from the most traumatic episodes in America’s history as a nation. Learn how America’s first responders answered the call of boundless compassion in 9/11 and appreciate how they continue to do so every day.
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9/11 Made Us One: How America’s First Responders Answered The Call Of Boundless Compassion
Stories Of 9/11 And The Call Of 9/12
Welcome to an interview in our series of the show, from substance use prevention to cutting edge research, treatment and addiction and with those who are recovering from it. This show focuses on issues of importance to those in recovery and treatment providers, issues that we know matter to you and I think matter to many people around the country. I am honored to invite and welcome, not just someone of esteem but someone who is a friend of mine. I'm shifting it a little bit because dealing with September 11th and Bobby has not with many people who have dealt with the traumas, the issues of September 11th.
Let me share with you who Bobby is. Fire Chief Bobby Halton is retired. He is the Editor-In-Chief of Fire Engineering magazine and the Education Director of the Fire Department’s Instructors Conference, the FDIC, of which I have been honored to be a part of and lead the opening prayer that always goes too long. Chief Halton began his career in instructional firefighting with Albuquerque Fire Department and rose through the ranks to include the Chief of Training. Bobby was the Chief of Operations until his retirement from Albuquerque in 2004. He then became Chief of the Coppell Fire Department. Bobby left Coppell to assume the duties as Editor-In-Chief of Fire Engineering magazine. Bobby, thank you, for being with me.
It was a pleasure, Padre.
For matters, I always did go a little bit too long for those opening prayers. We would have a conference and Bobby would invite me. They would say, “Father Jim, you got to keep it to three minutes,” and then I'd walk off. You go, “You were four and a half. What's the matter with you?”
Even Jesus will be impressed that people would lay down their lives for total strangers.
You were twelve and a half.
If you got an audience like that, you can't let it go.
It's always fun to be with you.
I think Bobby, if I may offer a conversation, I want to talk about tattoos on the heart, the power of boundless compassion that I think we deal with or you deal with your firefighters, first responders, EMT, police and fire. Because I think that no matter what department we're from, entering the fire academy, police or EMT, grill yard for the first time as a candidate, is something that nobody forgets. I know going into the seminary or going into the firehouse as a child, the excitement, the joy and the anticipation.
The history involved in this is sacred. Although we all come from different paths with different upbringings and beliefs, that day, we become brothers and sisters, firefighters, police, armed services and paramedics, something to this day, we identify ourselves by. Bobby, could you share with me some of your reflections on the anniversary of 9/11? Just your matters of faith.
9/11 First Responders: Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion - https://www.amazon.com/Tattoos-Heart-Power-Boundless-Compassion/dp/1439153159
I've been asked repeatedly over the years, in particular, having grown up in New York City in an Irish Catholic family in the Bronx and the old standard line. In my family, you are a cop, a fireman or a priest. We used to call it Irish welfare. It was true. I apologize. A New York firefighter in 9/11 is, I would say it's unique but it's indelible because my family was in the fire service forever. My law enforcement family has been in New York since the 1700s.
We were working on a project called The Engine Company Project. We had moved into hoses and nozzles. We were in the middle of what we're calling The Secret Nozzle Project. Everything had a joke. It was lighthearted. It was joyful. It was exciting because this is what the fire service is. The fire service is notoriously irreverent by design because we deal with the absolute worst moment in everybody's life every day.
It's interesting because catastrophe or disaster, it's not the best word for it, is local. If you're a struggling mom and dad and get in a car accident, you use their 1984 Camry. If that's the only car they have, that's a catastrophe. You've got to be aware of that all the time. It’s because the car looks like a junker to you and all it was was a beat-up old car that is now inoperable, saying something like, “Everybody's okay.”
That doesn't cut it because everything's not okay in that family now. The breadwinner can't get to work and now they're wondering, are they going to be able to keep their job? Are they going to have a tomorrow as they knew it? As firefighters, we live with the mundane being catastrophic to some. We go to the richest guy in the neighborhood having a heart attack. It’s like out of the Bible, the three-storey house is full of grain and there is no tomorrow for that guy.
Their death is just like everybody else’s, which is fascinating. 9/11 for us, for me and for the firefighters was such an incredibly powerful day because it didn't matter if you were the head or the man who had the top offices at the World Trade Center that day. For all the world, not a care in the world or you were the kid who was working washing dishes at Windows on the World who got the job two days ago, your fate was sealed nonetheless.
The New York City Fire Department, just so people are clear, was all men. When I say the men, there were no female firefighters in the New York City Fire Department who were killed that day. I don't know exactly how many responded but of the 343 people who died in the line of service from the New York City Fire Department, they were all men. When we refer to the men that died that day, please don't take any offense or think that I'm not being inclusive.
At that point in time, the ranks of the New York City Fire Department were not as integrated with women as they are many years later. More and more women are becoming firefighters now, which is a great thing. I'm strongly supportive of that career path and choice. What's amazing to me when we think back of the friends that I lost that day, the acquaintances and the students because having taught at the New York State Fire Academy and having grown up in the city and the division, the sheer tragedy of the loss of life in terms of humanity and it’s that simple too the human side of it.
Not to be disrespectful in any way but it's still hard to wrap your head around the fact that 3,000 people could be murdered in the city and then another 1,400 or 1,500 or so around the country. It's a painful day for a lot of different reasons. Some of the things that we take away in a positive way, there's a positive side to it, Padre, was that many of the men that stood there on that crown that day were there when the first building collapsed.
Guilt is the gift that just keeps on giving.
When the first building collapsed, they knew full well that the second building was going to collapse. Nonetheless, dozens of New York City firefighters, including Chief Ganci stayed and went into that other building knowing that they were going to get out as many more people as they could possibly get out. To their incredible and enduring credit, the estimates were that somewhere in excess of 50,000 people worked in those buildings.
50,000 people didn't die, 3,000 did. Most folks were trapped. The kid working washing dishes and the executive, if they were above the floor that those aircraft struck, they were trapped. Their fate was sealed when it happened but those that could be rescued to the incredible and enduring credit of the FDNY, were rescued. It was incredible. It is unbelievable how effective the FDNY was that day.
I don't think people realize that a lot of the firefighters who perished that day did so because they refused to leave those they found disabled and trapped at the time. There's one incredible example of it as a secondary firefighter named Paddy Brown. Paddy was a truck company officer. He and his crew were taking care of some folks who were burnt and hurt. The Chief of Operations gave the order to evacuate the towers.
All units evacuated the towers after the first collapse, knowing full well that the second was imminent and Captain Brown got on the radio and said, “With all due respect, we refuse to obey that order. We've got people that are hurt and we're not leaving them.” That's amazing when you think about it. They say greater love has no man than to lay down his life for his friends. I think even Jesus will be impressed to know that men would lay down their lives for total strangers.
We’re a faith community that is all uniquely a blend together. I think that with firefighters and first responders who continued to rush in to care for their brothers and sisters. That's why in many ways, I think that what you're sharing, Bobby is the power of boundless compassion. I think that's what you do. I know that's certainly what our brother and sister fire firefighters do with and for each other. Are there any other stories or insights? What has it changed for you, Bob?
I know you're a man of faith. You and I have had great conversations about that but I'm going to ask you simply to share. I often do a thing about PIESS, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Social or Spiritual. It's about the whole person. Bobby, how has it affected you as a whole person? How can we continue to move forward with that hole in the soul of that day? You often talk about post-traumatic growth, too. It’s growing through the trauma. How's that affected you in your life as a firefighter, a man of esteem and regard throughout the country?
I don't know about the last part but as a dad and a person, your vulnerability at any point in time, I think because of September 11th, everybody became acutely more aware of the fact that there are no guarantees for tomorrow. The firefighters always say that we’re completely aware of that and so and so. We know that but do you really? I think that the answer there is no. You don't go through every day realizing this could be your last.
I don't know what tomorrow is going to lead. Our purpose is not so much to preserve the past but to change the present for the good of the future. I think that's often what we do as a fellowship, as well as the men and women around the firehouse.
I don’t think we need to be fatalistic like walking around every day thinking that the sky is falling. By the same token, I think after 9/11, for a lot of us, as firefighters, we became acutely more aware of it the fact that every day might not be 9/11 but if that building has your name on it, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. I don't think we were as aware, at least I was not, as a service about the incredible amount of evil that's out there. I think it was disconcerting as a matter of faith, as a firefighter to realize that there are people out there who want to kill people just to kill them.
I think that was at the same time disconcerting and troubling as it was confusing. There's an ideology and I'm not a biblical scholar. I don't know two things about it so I’ll not pretend that I do but to think that someone would think that it will be pleasing to God to kill a bunch of random people was never on my radar screen before that day. We live with it every day.
We do. It's that piece of fear of the unknown that you know that before you.
We never had that before. You could talk about changes at the airport and all that other good stuff all you want but that's inconvenient. Realizing that there are people out there that think the pursuit of absolute evil is in some way okay is terrifying to me.
9/11 First Responders: Because of 9/11, everybody became acutely more aware of the fact that there are no guarantees for tomorrow.
As well as I myself but I must also share, Bobby, as we have had that experience. Even in the midst of that evil, participating in different activities at FDIC. I saw the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation, the Stair Climb. You know that a group of people came together to support a foundation. Could you speak to that a little bit?
Memorials are important. Traditions are important. There's a great book out by the Catholic convert, the Catholic thing, as anybody's knows, Padre. There’s a higher one called The Unbroken Thread. It's a great read, irrespective of your faith. The whole book is about the importance of customs, tradition and ceremonies. Customs, traditions and ceremonies don't have to be ancient. It's great when they are and many of them are.
Many celebrations, many things have roots that go back to our roots basically but you can create things, memorials. The 9/11 Stair Climb is one of those things that was created in order to memorialize the firefighters from 9/11 who climbed those stairs. The Stair Climb, what they do is that the men and women who participate climb what would be the equivalent of 110 stories.
None of the firefighters that they made 110 stories, none of them. No one got that high but that's not the point. The point of the climb is to memorialize their commitment to climb 110 stories. Men and women come to different events where we can get a structure that has stairs. They climb them and dedicate the climb to the men that we lost that day, the firefighters on 9/11. It's a lot harder to do than one would think to climb 110 stories.
Having been there and shaking hands of those men and women that go up those stairs and put their bunker outfits on, their bunkers coats and pants on. I see many of them do that.
It memorializes their commitment. I think it's fascinating because that tradition means that there'll be something that we can physically do like putting up a Christmas tree or lighting a menorah or fasting or our Jewish friends are celebrating. There’s that respect to it. I think it's good that we do those things. For me, they're cathartic. I think that many of my New York friends in the fire service suffered greatly from the trauma.
I think that we need to provide support and counseling and understanding to those that are trying to deal with it but others have grown from it and others have experienced tremendous benefits. It's odd how tragedy and struggle affect folks. I don't think we need to put a value and judgment on either. In other words, it doesn't make one stronger, weaker, better and worse.
It means that some folks will go through life-altering, life-changing, life-threatening events and come out with incredible clarity of purpose or incredible growth and insight. Others will go through it and suffer debilitating fear and anxiety. It all has to do with who you are as a person. It has nothing to do with being better than or worse than or broken or unbroken. The great book, Unbroken, about his experiences in life but the title Unbroken didn't come from the fact that he was a prisoner of war in Japan or he was shot down or any of that.
Unbroken came from his realization and his love of God and God's love of him and that nothing could ever break that. That was what the title of the book meant. A lot of people miss that. They think it's all about his war experiences and the Japanese and nothing could break him. That's not what it meant. It meant that there's a love of a higher power of God. For me, it's Jesus. Jesus is love. God's love, for me, that's unbroken despite all the stupid, crazy things I do and everything else.
On 9/11, we, the people looked evil in the eye and said, “No, we won't back down.”
I think that there are transformative events that happen. Just because you go through an event, say a 9/11 or a terrible car accident or a plane crash or a divorce or whatever it is locally, that was debilitating for you, it can set you back on your heels. It can make you have difficulty getting out and about. It can make it tough for you to be the person you used to be. As long as you realize that it hasn't changed her relationship with God or his love for you, you're okay.
It's okay to be hurting and express anxiety, fear and doubt. That's okay. It's understandable. Being a Catholic and Irish, I can speak to this with great authority. Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving. There's no need for anyone to feel guilty about not feeling something or feeling differently than others. I remember for years feeling guilty about not needing counseling after major events that I went through as a firefighter. You need to go talk to somebody about this and I'd be like, “I'm good.” I was okay. I wasn't trying to be a smart ass or dismissive but I was okay.
Never let them go, Bobby. Even though many of us may live with a hole in our soul but yet again, we continue to move forward.
Whenever somebody goes, Donne in Meditation 17 was absolutely right. The death of one does diminish us all. He nailed it. Being diminished does not mean being defeated. Being diminished means that everybody adds a spark to the world. As that spark may be extinguished, a new spark is lit somewhere. Some other child is born. Donne was probably partially right.
Sometimes I often think in the fire service, the people may or may not know that we don't like the term rekindle because that means a fire was put out but then we had to go back and take care of it again. I think God's love constantly rekindles a spark in many ways. That's turning that around a little bit, if I may be as bold as you can't put God's love out.
That's the one rekindle we're good with.
Many people may not know that the term firefighters and first responders don't like that. Yet again, I think with God's love, as we think it's gone out, it continues to come back. It rekindles in many ways.
Sometimes, the energy might be low and it needs a little bit of something to fan it, to blow on it to get it to rekindle or reignite but I don't think it ever goes out. When we talk about 9/11, what's so tough is especially what was the enormity of it for all of us. One of the horrible people in the world, I can't remember much of the horrible people it was but it was either Stalin or one of the communist, socialist monsters out there once said that one man's death was a martyr but the death of many was just a statistic.”
That's probably true when it comes to perception but the problem with 9/11, particularly the fire service, was that all of those people to us were individuals. In other words, we had 343 martyrs that day and 69 police officers. I don't know the exact number of Port Authority and EMS folks but for my industry, we had 343 martyrs that day that lost their lives.
Interestingly enough, I don't know if the folks reading, maybe you don't understand us and not trying to be self-glorifying, for lack a better word or whatever. When I say don't understand us, don't understand that if you’re a firefighter, we know the risks and rewards when we join. They got killed in an incredible building collapse. It was televised. It was all over the news and the whole world knows about it but every day all across America, men and women are dying in ones and twos.
The buildings are falling on them. Fires are taking their lives. They're running out of air and getting lost. When we talk about 9/11, trust me, those 343 have been joined by hundreds of others who we, more than deeply and remiss just as badly as the 343 we lost many years ago. It's a weird industry that celebrates saving lives and at the same time, takes it so personally when we lose one of our own.
9/11 First Responders: On 9/12, were all Americans. We were all New Yorkers. The night of 9/11 there wasn’t anyone in this country who dared say anything bad about America.
I think that's so true because we live in firehouses. Growing up as a kid of a firefighter, I knew the firehouse was a sacred and holy place. We serve and work with each other for the good of the community.
We sleep and eat together. It's fascinating. We love each other. Even the firefighters we can't stand, we love them. I know that sounds weird. I've got five sisters. When I get mad at one of them, I go crazy. If you send something out on one of my sisters, I'll suck you in the nose. Firefighters are like that. I can beat them out because I am one.
That’s what family does. That's what we do in my siblings. Don’t you dare say anything against him or her but I can certainly do it. They’re family.
On 9/12, we were all Americans. We were all New Yorkers. The night of 9/11, there wasn't an American in this country who didn't have their fist-raised, ready to suck anybody in the nose who dared say anything bad about America. Those men and women who died that day whether they were the dishwasher, the firefighter, the cop, the banker or whatever they were doing in that building, the tourist who’s going up there for that day to see the view, those incredible people were heroes. They were American citizens. They were our living our God-given constitutional rights.
People should remember that this is a country founded on natural rights, rights that come from God, not from men. We have the right to free speech not from Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell and Republicans and Democrats. Our right to free speech comes from God. Our right to assembly comes from God. Our right to defend ourselves comes from God. We need to remember that. We need to remember that the men and women who are willing to sacrifice their lives that day, to put their lives on the line whether they were cops or firemen or even the building safety guys and gals, also did not abandon their posts. There were men and women who are working in that building as safe people. They did not abandon their posts either.
They were as heroic as the men and women you see wearing bunker gear and carrying guns. They stayed there because they cared about their fellow Americans. They cared about their fellow human beings. We all need to remember how we felt on 9/12. This is the greatest country in the world. It's the most diverse country in the world. There's no other country in the world where irrespective of who your mom and dad were, you can become anything you want to be.
You look at Barack Obama from his humble beginnings, Bill Clinton from his humble beginnings. George Bush, there's a horse of a different color. He's a little bit aristocrat. You can be the president of the United States. Donald Trump is a real estate developer. He wasn't a connected politician guy. We are the people. On 9/11, we, the people looked tyranny, evil in the eye and said, “We won't back down. We won't be intimidated. We will make every effort to rescue our fellow citizens. We will answer the call.”
That's what those firefighters, cops, safety managers and even regular citizens, there were countless regular citizens, Padre who ran into that building to help. Father Mychal Judge was listed as the first fatality for the FDNY that day. He was giving last rites to another firefighter named Shore who was killed by a citizen who jumped out of that building rather than burn to death or fell out of that building rather than burned to death. You cannot ever forget that a man of God is listed as a first fatality.
Being an American and being alive at this moment in time is the greatest blessing you could have ever wished for.
Although technically he may not have been, it's an honor that everyone thought he had earned. The honor of that day that this country earned that I don't know of any other country in the world, whereas many of their regular citizens, public servants, best and brightest would gladly give their lives in the hopes of saving someone else. There's a great story. I'll leave you with one of the greatest stories that came out of that. Probably the greatest story is Captain Brown, refusing to leave the people they were with, knowing full well that they were basically staying with them to join them in death so that they wouldn't be fearful of death.
Captain Jay Jonas at the time, I believe he was a captain. He may have been a Lieutenant but Jay Jonas was with his crew. They were in the lobby and they got some bad news. They were being ordered up into the tower and knowing full well that things were not going well. He told his crew, he said, “This is what we drew.” They all said, “No problem, let's do it.” He turned around and there were some other crews that were going up. All of those men, knowing exactly where they were heading, turned to one another and said, “It's been great knowing you and having a chance to work with you.”
They shook one another's hands, look each other in the eye, knowing in that officer's group that they probably wouldn't survive. Jay is the only one of that group of officers who survived. He turned and took his crew up. When he took his crew up, they came across a woman named Josephine. Josephine was a rather large woman. She was having tremendous difficulty navigating the stairs. He told his crew, “We're going to get Josephine down.”
They tried carrying her. They tried doing this and that. Josephine's a big woman so it was tough. Finally, they went into one of the floors and tried to retrieve a chair to see if they'd be carrying her on a chair would make it easier but that didn't work out well. They kept charging their way down. Suddenly, the building shook and violently lurched, everything went black. Time was suspended. The next thing he heard was one of his guys said, “This sucks.”
Someone said, “What?” “Being dead, this hurts.” The other guy says, “You're not dead. You idiot. We're trapped.” That's one of the funny stories but Josephine and those men are one of the few survival stories. They wrote it down. They’re called The Miracle of The Seventh Floor. They were in the seventh and they wrote it down. They're trapped now below the grave.
Our great Battalion Chief John Salka arrived on the scene from home and he's on the radio. They're trying to find out where everybody is and Jay gets on the radio. He says, “Seven to command, we need some help getting out of here.” Chief Salka says, “Jay, this is John, where are you?” He goes, “We're in the north end of the tower at elevator six. Come get us.” I’m just making it up. I can't remember. John says, “Jay, there is no elevator six. There is no tower.”
It was at that point that Jay realized what had happened to them. They had been in the collapse but it's an amazing story. What's amazing about it is that somehow God wrapped his hands around those men and Josephine. Maybe it was their kindness to Josephine. Maybe it was that act. Who knows what it was? Because everybody, hundreds of other people are doing the exact same thing but for whatever reason, they survived.
They knew that going up that building could be the last thing. That they shook hands with other men and said goodbye before they ascended those stairs. If you want to know what the face of courage looks like, look at those men's faces because they're still alive. Josephine has since passed. If you want to know what America looks like, you do. Look at any cop on any street corner, look in the eyes of any firefighter you meet, look in the eyes of any emergency room doctor or nurse. Take a look in the eyes of the person who may be reading this on a subway or a bus or that person sitting across from you. That's the person who probably if they had to, would lay down their life for you if they felt that it would make a difference.
That's why being an American and being alive at this moment in time is the greatest blessing you could have ever wished for. Now, people are trying to convince you that is not who we are and they're wrong. For whatever reason they're misguided, they're wrong. It doesn't matter what color you are. It doesn't matter who you have sex with. It doesn't matter what you've done or how much you have or don't have there. This is a country of brothers and sisters who love each other unconditionally and will at any moment in time lay down their lives for each other. I'm convinced of that.
9/11 First Responders: If you want to know what America really looks like, look in the eyes of any cop, firefighter, doctor or nurse. That person would probably lay down their life for you if they had to.
I believe that too, Bobby. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I'm grateful to know you for who you are, as a friend, how we met and how this is a journey in our life. I'm deeply grateful. Thank you, Bobby, for being here. Are there any other last words you'd like to offer me, bits of wisdom that I could probably use from you?
You're a great priest, Padre. You know that. You're a great man. I think that what you're doing is amazing. I know folks that struggle with mental health issues. I love one dearly. I think that it must be an incredibly hard cross to carry because their pain is so intense that my heart breaks for those who care for them and my heart breaks for them.
Thank you for your faith, Bobby. Thank you for your friendship and my best to your family. Bobby hits it on the spot, tattoos on the heart, the power of boundless compassion. Bobby, thank you for your compassion, your presence and your friendship. Thank you.
Important Links
About Bobby Halton
Education director/group editor of Clarion Events Fire & Rescue Group and education director of FDIC International, began his career in with the Albuquerque (NM) Fire Department. He left as chief of operations in 2004 and joined the Coppell (TX) Fire Department as chief. He left this position to assume his duties at Fire Engineering. He is a graduate of the University of New Mexico. He has served on National Fire Protection Association technical committees and is active with the National Fallen Firefighters Life Safety Initiatives.
